A

ANNE RICE ROUTINE--Vampire-with-a-tortured-soul actor

ANYWHERE BUT HERE--Fantasy game where players imagine an Elsewhere to Be (e.g., Buffy fantisizes about Gavin Rossdale massaging her feet on a beach at sunset; Willow would be eating ziti in Italy with John Cusack)

(THE) AWKWARD SILENCE THING--Dating hazard

B

BACKSEAT MOTHERING--Unsolicited advice from non-parent

BAD PART OF TOWN--About 1/2 a block from the good part of town

BAT SIGNAL--Slayer code for distress signal

BAY CITY ROLLERS--What Giles considers ‘real music’

(THE) BIG HURT--Slayer force; murder

BITCHA--formally know as "Bitch", Xander just can not spell

BOYFRIENDLY--Worthy of dating exclusively

BREAK-AND-ENTERISH--Comfortable slay wear

BRONZE, THE--Sunnydale's local hangout.

BUTTFACE--used in converstation, looking as though you are going to say "but" ("You have Buttface")

BUSINESS-CLASS TICKET TO COOL WITH COMPLIMENTARY MOJO AFTER TAKEOFF--Benefits of being in a band

C

CARBON DATED--Beyond passe

(A) CARRIE--Psycho prom moment in spirit of '76 horror flick

CHATTER IN THE CAF--Widespread high school lunchroom gossip

CLASS PROTECTOR--The award given to Buffy on the eve of Prom by grateful classmates

CLOTHES FLUKE--Kiss resulting from formal wear

COME AS YOU AREN'T--Halloween

(THE) CREEPY--Frightening ("How much the creepy is it that she's been spying on us?")

(THE) CRYPTIC--Manner of speaking without imparting information ("Stop with the cryptic--you're scaring me")

CYBERCOVEN--Wired witches

D

DATEVILLE--Early stage of a realtionship, between Big Fun Group Town & romantic Twosome Burg

DEBARGE--Dorky, rolled-up-sleeves look of person (or vamp) stuck in the '80s; reference to the defunct Motown act

DECAF LAND--calm realm between Comaville & Speedtown

DEMON--Otherwordly creatures; evil spirit

DENIAL LAND--Where you go to not face reality

DID WE FIND?--Shorthand for "Did we find it?"

(THE) DIRE--Urgent tone & expression ("What's the dire?")

DOLLSOME--Pretty; attractive

DR. LAURA FOR THE DECEASED--Demon therapist in spirit of radio shrink Dr. Laura Schlessinger

DUMP-O-GRAM--Kiss-off

DUST--Stake a vampire; form that demon takes at death

E

(AN) ELSEWHERE TO BE--Another engagment far away

ESPRESSO PUMP--A place to go get sugared up on mochas and where Giles occasionally plays his tunes.

EVIL DEAD--another name for Spike, the friendly neighborhood bloodsucker

EVITA-LIKE--Self-centered, arrogant

F

FANG GANG--Vampires; also, Nasty Pointy-Bitey Ones

FESTER FREE--State of being relieved of silent seething

FIRE BAD, TREE PRETTY--Buffy demonstrating her low-level brain function after a draining battle

FIVE BY FIVE--Feeling no pain; aviation radio term favored by Faith

FRAY ADJACENT--In the vicinity of the thick of things

FREAKSOME--Worrisome

A FREE--Study hall

FRUIT-PUNCH MOUTH--Vampires with a blood mustache

FULL-ON EXORCIST TWIST--Ability to turn one's head 360 degrees, as in praying mantises or Linda Blair

G

GATHERING--type of party with brie and mellow song stylings

GEEK MACHINE--Joyce Summers' totally uncool jeep

GEEKER JOY--Effusive feeling nerdy Willow gets when she's happy

GENE AND ROGER--Unsolicited criticism such as that given by movie critics Siskel & Ebert

GOD'S GIFT TO THE BELL CURVE--Longhand for moron

GO WILD BUNCH--Become violent vigilante group; reference to the bloody 1969 western

GOING WILLY LOMAN--Raising money through selling of chocolate bars; reference to the Death of a Salesman character

GOOD SQUIRM--Satisfying level of discomfort ("I trust I gave good squirm")

GRANDFATHER BREATH--Unpleasant aroma

GRR ARGH--Joss' final words to his viewers

(THE) GRIM--Sullen faces; also Tragedy Masks

GUILTAPALOOZA--Excessive-remorse festival

H

HANDY CARRYOUT PACKETS OF BLOOD--IV transfusion bags

(A) HAPPY--A good feeling; also another word for ‘sex’

HAPPY MEALS WITH LEGS--People (to vampires)

HAVE A NICE SUMMER--Kiss-of-death yearbook sentiment written when signer has nothing to say

HAVING AN EXPRESSION--Making a telltale face

HAVING ORS--Considereing options

HELEN KELLER--an unobservant individual ("My eyes are green, Helen Keller")

HELLMOUTH--on which Sunnydale sits; the center of mystical convergence.

HOOP-OF-THE-WEEK--Obligatory yet needless task ("Principal Synder's not happy unless I am jumping through his hoop-of-the-week")

HOOTENANNY--type of party that is chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny

HORMONES ON PARADE--Teenagers obsessed with kissing & groping

I

INDUSTRIAL-STRENTGH THERAPY--Intense counseling needed by adolscents who reconstruct people out of dead human parts

(THE) INITIATIVE--A government-sponsored quasimilitary agency devoted to the study of vampires, demons and other nasties

IT IS NOT TO WORRY--The long way of saying "Don't worry"; also, "No worries"

J

JOAN COLLINS 'TUDE--Persona of someone bucking for Bitch of the Year; reference to the Dynasty diva

JOHN TESH--The devil

JONESING--An urge, a need, a want ("I’m jonesing for a little brainless fun.")

K

KEY, THE--An incredible energy source that opens the locked door between dimensions

KEYSER SOZED--Duped by an actual bad guy into believing in a villain that doesn't exist; reference to the imaginary character in the film The Usual Suspects ("Does anybody feel like they've been Keyser Sozed?")

(THE) KIND OF SENSE THAT'S NOT--Without logic

KINKS OR VANILLA--Query regarding someone's preference for naughty or nice sex

KISSING DAYLIGHT--Vampire death by sunrise

L

LAURA ASHLEY--Major fashion faux pas; reference to the frilly, floral fashion designer

LINOLEUM--Looking at this often makes 17-year-old boys want to have sex.

LOCKER-DOOR MATERIAL--Serious boyfriend who's earned spot in metal high school storage compartment

(THE) LONELY ONES--Vampires' term for themselves

LOST WEEKENDING--Getting drunk & losing track of time; reference to Billy Wilder film

LUNCHABLE--Lip-smaking treat for the eyes (male); also Salty Goodness

M

MAGIC BOX--The magic store run by Giles; source of ingredients for Willow's witchy spells

McPLASMAS--Vampire fast food

MESSED--Out of sorts ("It's not you; I just get messed sometimes")

MOM-AGED MITS--Joyce Summers' menopausal hands

MOVE FREE--a chaste date lacking hanky-panky

MR. POINTY--good-luck slayer stake Kendra gives to Buffy

MUSIC OF PAIN--Tunes to sulk by; country music (e.g., Patsy Cline's "I Fall to Pieces")

N

NA-NA-NA-NA-NA APPROACH TO BATTLE--Taunting to victory

NAME-TAG PERSON--Retail or fast-food employee; derogatory

O

OFFICE ROMANCE--Illicit vampire/slayer love affair

ONE-STARBUCK TOWN--Term, coined by Cordelia, to describe Sunnydale as a town lacking in shopping opportunities and excitement

OTHERWHERE--Elsewhere; also, Somplace That's Away

OVERBITE--Vampire ("Take a walk, overbite"), also, Creechy Face

OVERLY--Excessively ("You're acting a little overly, aren't you?")

P

PATHETIC MUCH?--Feeling sorry for yourself?

PATROL--Walking down the streets, through parks, cemeteries, etc., looking for vamps and demons to kill

PINK RANGER--Overzealous fighter (e.g., Kendra); reference to the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

PLANET POCKET PROTECTOR--Geek universe; place where Giles commonly dwells

POINTED TOOTH FAIRY--Vampire prone to house calls

POINTY--Worthwhile--in response to something being described as pointless ("Punishing myself like this is entirely pointy")

POOP THE PARTY--Naysay ("I don't mean to poop the party here")

POWER-FREAKED--Exponentially scared; see also (The) Wig

PRE-POSY--The dating period prior to the guy giving the girl flowers

PRINCESS MARGARET--Overly effeminate British male (e.g., Wesley)

R

RESEARCH MODE--Time to hit the books

RIDING THE MELLOW--Enjoying quite time

ROGAINE BOY--Baldy

ROLLER BOY--Unenlightened term for paraplegic (e.g., Spike in a wheelchair); also, Sit 'n' Spin

S

SABRINA--Teenage witch

SANITY FAIR--A magazine Faith will not be gracing the cover of

SARCASTIC QUOTE MARKS--In which the gang turns to a visual cliche into a verbal one (e.g., mocking organized fun: "And I use sarcastic quote marks")

SCARE-A-POLOOZA--How vampires view Halloween

SCOOBY GANG--Buffy & her slaying pals; reference to the '70s TV cartoon Scooby-Doo, also; Undead Playgroup; Slayerettes

(TO) SCULLY--Explain paranormal activity with scientific rationale homage to Dana Scully of The X-Files ("I cannot believe that you of all people are trying to Scully me")

SHINDIG--type of party with dip, less-mellow song stylings, and perhaps a large amount of malt beverage

SINGLE WHITE FEMALED--Have existence duplicated by an obsessive acquaintence in manner of Jennifer Jason Leigh/Bridget Fonda film (e.g., new slayer-in-town Faith to Buffy)

SLAYEE--Vampires, demons, and other assorted evildoers who meet the pointed end of a weapon

SLAYER, THE--a.k.a The Chosen One. The one who stands against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness.

SLAY-STUDY DOUBLE FEATURE--Evening of killing & homework

SLICEAGE--Death by slashing

SMOOCHIES--Kissing and romance

SO--Wonderful ("Isn't that so? Me and Owen!")

SOCK PUPPET OF LOVE--Xander's right hand, which often fills in as his date on special occasions

SOUL--What vampires are lacking

SOYLENT GREEN--unrecognizable green stuff served cafeteria; reference to the 1973 sci-fi classic

SPARKAGE--Romantic electricity

SPIDER SENSE--Tingling sensation Buffy gets when something's up in demonville; reference to Spiderman's intuition

SUNNYDALE GRAVEYARD - Where The Gang much of their time staking vampires and gleaning important information from the sites of mausoleums (which are also referred to as big, freaky cereal boxes of death)

T

TALENTLESS SHOW--High school talent show

TARDINESS--The eighth deadly sin

TINGLE MOMENT--Exciting. chill-inducing event

TONY ROBBINS HYPERDEFFICIENCY KICK--Self-inprovement in the style of large-toothed infomercial master

TWINKIE DEFENSE--Lame excuse; reference to a trial in which bad behaviour was blamed on excessive consumption of the cream-filled treat

TWOSOME OF CUTENESS--Good couple (e.g., Miss Calendar & Giles)

U

(THE) UBERSUCK--Major bummer

UNDEAD AMERICAN--Politically correct term for 'vampire'

UNLIFE--Living (to the undead)

UP WITH PEOPLE--Aroused in the presence of actual sex partner ("I'm up. I've just never been up with people before."); reference to do-gooding musical organization

V

VAMPIRE MEALS ON WHEELS--Medical transport blood delivery

VAGUE THAT UP--To make a foggy explanation even worse

W

(THE) WACKY--Crazy things ("Love makes you do the wacky")

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE HOTTIE/THE SEDUCTION--Take note of a potential mate

'WALKER TEXAS RANGER'--Must see TV for zombies

WATCHER--The person who trains the Slayer and prepares her for her duties

WATCHER'S COUNCIL--The organization that trains and dispatches Watchers; also keeps an eye on the Slayers and makes sure they fulfill their duties

WAY 007--Sartorially James Bond (e.g., Wesley in a tux)

(THE) WHAT--Obvious problem ("What's the what?")

WICKED JUMPY--Really nervous-acting

(THE) WIG--Creeps; omnipresent term favored by the Scooby Gang; usage: wigged, extra wig, (a fair) wiggins, maxi-wig

WOW POTENTIAL--Possible sparkage

WRINKLIES--Conjones; usually vulgar ("Any of you wanna test who's got the biggest wrinklies, step on up!")

Y

YESTER--Passed, over

Z

(THE) ZEPPO--Useless member of the group, in spirit of forgotten Marx Brother (e.g., Xander, according to Cordelia)

Quotes